Lovely stitched hearts by Jude of Spirit Cloth
I thought of this tonight after I read Greg my latest (and greatest) chapter in my 'self-help-book-of-the-moment' (What We Say Matters: Practicing Nonviolent Communication by Judith and Ike Lasater), specifically about listening to what our children (and others) say, and hearing it in a compassionate way.
"The greatest weapon we have to combat stress is the ability to choose our thoughts."
Often, we are caught up in a "who's right" pattern of negativity, it's just so incompassionate and unproductive. Once I read Greg the passage, and he took time to mull it over and digest it, he was able to react and converse with our teen son in a manner that had them both laughing and connecting.
Oh woe, how do we get so dis-connected, when we were all as good as one right before these teen years hit?? Did we get so old (God-forbid!) that we forgot how hard it is to be a teen, afraid of rejection and criticism? How can I act in a way that will connect me to my struggling teen(s), and not drive them away? My ability to choose to react to those around me with awareness, is what makes speech and interaction a spiritual practice. ...Heady stuff indeed!
Working from my heart seems to be just the right thing that my world needs now, along with my family, and especially my sons.
Who knew it could be this easy? That I had the answer at my fingertips...?
Getting caught up in actions and reactions take me away from listening to my heart... the trappings of hearing scathing words of my parents, the expectations of society, the disapproving periods of silence from so-called "friends" with kids my own kids ages -the ones who toe the line... none of these things take us to a better place, or ground us, or even help us. They are all our mind's way to deal with society's "dismissive" actions upon our best attempts to raise our children in a fraughtful and often unfair world. Who are we to know the right thing to do? We were NOT handed a manual at the birth of our children... holy heck...
Ok, these are the musings inside my head tonight, and I do so thank you for the indulgence! These are the thoughts that mull around in my consciousness as I think... about how many scarves do I need to make before the next show? Friendlys? Oh, about 20 more... I think the Toasts are good, but I need a ton more of those Teethys!
My next show is coming up on Sunday, Oct 2... more about that in my next post... after I've had a bit more time to mull my steps in nonviolent communication, and how much more product I need to make.
x, Val
PS. A note of thanks and appreciations for the love I found at the Coronado Art Walk. Each of your words, comments and purchases are a stitch of love in my homemade heart, and I thank you so very much!
